Forming Friendships In Motherhood

Let’s chat about friendships in motherhood. It’s tough right?! From trying to coordinate children’s various sleep, school, and extra curricula schedules, it can almost seem impossible. Before you nod your head and throw in the towel, I will tell you this, God made you for friendship. It is written in our very hearts as human beings from the beginning. After all, it was God who said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. As moms, friendship can be the balm to our tired souls. It is very much needed. So how, how do you go about forming friendships as a mom that are meaningful and rich?

I have experienced just how important mom friendships are this past year. After moving across the country last year for Chris’ school, I suddenly found myself alone with NO ONE to talk to except for when my husband was around and of course George. The first 2 months here in Ithaca were terribly lonely. I had no idea how much it hurt to be lonely. My personality tends to hide in shadows. I am not shy and will talk to anyone but as far as going to a play group or showing up to a Bible study by myself, I tend to talk myself out of those situations.

After a few weeks sitting in a 1000 sq foot apartment I knew I HAD to get out and make myself meet people. The first thing I did was show up to a play group. I was of course nervous and I can remember sitting in my car driving out of the parking lot because I was so scared. I made myself turn around and face my fear. Of course, the group of ladies inside were incredibly inviting, kind and are still in our friends here! Those play groups literally kept me from losing my mind as a mom this winter! If you are a new mom, look for a play group in your area. It is an easy way to watch your kids play, referee when needed and chat with other moms. You just might meet your new friend there!

MOPS (check to see if there is a group near you here) was and is an incredible resource for moms of preschoolers. Although it is a Christian organization you do not have to go to church or be a Christian to attend. It is a great time to drop your kid off in child care, work on a craft, listen to a speaker enjoy breakfast and meet other moms. This was another setting I was terrified of last year. The play group was small but I knew the MOPS here was fairly large. As usual, I talked myself out of going for the first few sessions and then ran out of excuses I could tell myself. The first day I showed up I met another mom who had a boy the same age as George. We hit it off and became fast friends.  We literally planned 2-3 play dates a week last year for our boys and swapped off watching each other’s kids.  I tear up just thinking about what I would have missed out on if I had not put myself out there.

FEAR and INSECURITY often hold a lot of us back from making friends. Those 2 traits can cripple you as a mom. Some days we just need that listening ear to pour our hearts out too. Maybe we need that mom friend to help watch our kid for a few hours when something comes up, perhaps we need them to pray for us about something or we just need someone who knows what we are going through.

Putting yourself out there and being vulnerable is the first step to forming friendships as a mom. Don’t let your mind talk you out of initiating that play date with a new mom, in fact, set it up TODAY! Why wait?!

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